When we bring the desire for a life-giving word to be spoken to us for the year or season ahead, we might be tempted to think our way into the word, to analyze what would be the best, most efficient, and practical word possible. But it doesn’t work like this. We can’t think our way into this journey.

Rather than choosing a word, I invite you to let a word choose you. What does this mean exactly? How am I chosen by a word? It means releasing your thinking mind and expectations and resting into your heart. If you are thinking of New Year’s resolutions and which word would be most motivating for you to lose those last ten pounds, this is not what we’re talking about. It means softening your grasp and letting go of the reaching. It means surrendering into a place of deep trust and receptivity.

When I teach about contemplative photography, I describe the difference between “taking” photos and “receiving” them. So much of our language is about taking, whether we refer to photos, or taking time, or taking advantage, or other things in our lives. Photography also uses such aggressive terms as shooting and capturing. It reflects a cultural mindset where we go out into the world looking for what we want and seizing it.

When we receive photos, or gifts, or words, we enter into a different kind of presence to the world—one that is less expectant of an outcome and more in wonder at holy surprise. We move through our lives often grasping at things, but this kind of practice asks us to breathe deeply and soften our grip, let our palms open, and walk through the world with a sense of gratitude at what comes.

What if I trusted that a word would come when the time was ripe? What if I let go of the need to find something for myself and opened myself to receive what comes? If you find yourself obsessing over the “right” word, it is time to breathe and let go. Pay attention to synchronicities around you. Look for images that shimmer and make your heart stir with delight. Notice what is making you uncomfortable, calling you to grow beyond the known edges of your life. These are the places where your word will make itself known. Eventually.

For some of you, the word may come right away, but others may find the process much slower. Trust that perhaps it is the waiting itself that is being offered to you as wisdom and practice. The word comes as a gift. You will often know it through an intuitive experience, a more embodied sense of yes. The word (or phrase) is one that will work in you (rather than you working on it). Remember that a word that creates a sense of inner resistance is as important to pay attention to as one that has a great deal of resonance.

Meditation: Breath Prayer

When you awaken in the morning, try practicing a simple breath prayer while holding your hands outstretched, palms open and facing upward. It can be helpful to begin by grasping your hands into a fist as tightly as you can, and then on a long, slow exhale, let your fingers soften and open.

Breath prayer is a very simple practice of aligning a word or phrase with our inhale and exhale. You can pray with any words at all, but I am suggesting how this particular prayer may begin.

As you breathe in, softly say the words I wait to yourself. This is not the kind of waiting we do in line at the post office or bank but a more attentive waiting where we are waiting on the Holy One to shimmer in some way.

As you breathe out, say the words to receive to yourself. Let your hands open even wider in a posture of welcome. Again, this is not like receiving a paycheck or a phone call but the reception of an unexpected gift.

Breathe in: I wait

Breathe out: to receive

Let yourself steep in this prayer for five minutes. When you find yourself striving or reaching for something, let your breath soften your grip and return to this posture of openness and attending.

This is an excerpt from Give Me a Word chapter 3: Let the Word Choose You.